Let the good times roll at your big family gathering with these creative twists on tradition!
Have you read the book, “The Art of Gathering” by Priya Parker? If you are someone who loves to host parties, gatherings, etc. you are sure to find this as a hit book!
What is your desired outcome?
The most important step is to figure out why you want to gather with others.
“We gather to solve problems we can’t solve on our own. We gather to celebrate, to mourn, and to mark transitions. We gather to make decisions. We gather because we need one another. We gather to show strength. We gather to honor and acknowledge. We gather to build companies and schools and neighborhoods. We gather to welcome, and we gather to say goodbye.” (First page of the book, The Art of Gathering)
I would also add that we gather to teach and learn from each other. Talk about news events, etc. If you read the book, “Contagious: Why Things Catch On” by Jonah Berger it talks about how you can also gain status if you say something that others don’t know about.
You can also spread ideas one-on-one or to a group and be able to get people’s reactions in real-time – right away! Verses online there is a delayed reaction and misinterpretation could happen without excellent communication skills. You can also save time that way!
Here are a few of some of the amazing ideas from the book that might get you thinking about why events are put together. I’m sure if you’re a host, you have thought about it. I’m not sure if you have heard or thought through these reasons at such a deep level though. Priya Parker put these ideas down in a way that I hadn’t thought about before. There are so many gems in her book! In the list below, I put together the quotes Priya Parker mentioned of the ways she reinvented the traditional events we know so well about.
Here is another quote to state once again the purpose and extreme importance of changing things up if you want to create change:
“We changed the meeting as a deliberate way to change the culture and values of the [event].” (pg. 13)
Purpose of a wedding:
1. “Ceremonial repayment of your parents for all they have done for you as you set off to build your own family.”
2. “Melding of a new couple with the tribe of people with whom they feel the most open.”
Baby shower:
3. “To parent equally. Navigate these uncharted waters together.”
4. “We wished to be witnessed in our community as a couple parenting in full and actual equality, not as a mom raising a child with a dad who “helps.”
Back to school night:
5. “To inspire parents to sustain on evenings and weekends the values the school teaches during the days.”
6. “To help connect the parents to one another so as to make them a tribe.”
7. “Marking the time and reconnecting after the hectic school year.”
8. “Embodies the values we want our children to grow up with – like that strangers aren’t scary.”
Church small group:
9. “To have a group that keeps us doing what we say we want to do.”
10. “To have a trusted circle to share struggles without worrying about appearances.”
I thought of this one: To share our stories more openly – get to know each other behind the faces we see at church each week and know how to minister appropriately to each person.
Birthday party:
11. “To surround myself with the people who bring out the best in me.”
12. “To set some goals for the year ahead with people who will help me stay accountable.”
13. “To take a personal risk/do something that scares me.”
14. “To reconnect with my siblings.”
15. “I’m throwing a birthday party to look back on the year.”
Family reunion:
16. “To have a chance for the cousins to bond as adults, without spouses and children.”
17. “To convene the next generation in the wake of grandpa’s death and create a more tolerant family reunion in line with the younger relatives’ values.”
Book festival:
18. “To use books and a love of reading to build community across racial lines.”
Dinner party:
19. “Hosting a welcome dinner so that our new colleague feels comfortable in our tight-knit group.”
This brainstorming of why you are gathering can be applied to any dance party, Ladies’ Night Outs, etc. Have you read this book yet? Have you thought about these ideas before? What are your thoughts?
Here is the book to read more! The ideas and concepts are a fantastic way to look at gathering in a new light: